EMDR Treatment for PTSD

EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing)

After witnessing the suicide of my only child of 16, I am forever plagued with PTSD. Some will disagree and say that you can get over this disorder. And, maybe some people can. I believe your recovery depends on the level of PTSD you are experiencing. And, how soon you get therapy. If you repress traumatic events for a long time, you may never be able to fully function or sleep at night. The sooner you get some type of therapy, and medications in some instances, the better chance you have of recovering. And when I say recover, I don’t mean “getting over it”. You NEVER get over it. Whatever your circumstances are that deemed this therapy necessary, will never go away. You just learn how to cope with it. I have been in therapy for a couple of years now. As I get through one set of what I call nightmares, I move on to the next one. EMDR will help you get through the future as well. For example, I could not imagine how I was going to start my life again, without my son. And, why was I still here and he wasn’t. I had so much anxiety about this, it was hindering my healing. EMDR has helped me talk my way through my fears and get through another day.

Basically, EMDR has the potential of helping with the flashbacks and nightmares. It works for some, not all. It is working for me. I was able to actually talk through some of my thoughts, which helps the healing. There are different ways EMDR is performed. I have been lucky to find a great therapist. She puts headphones on and I hear a beep in one ear, then in the other ear. The beeps supposedly stimulate the part of your brain that helps you remember things you have blocked out. I was very skeptical at first, because this therapy is not proven, but I was willing to try most anything. You close your eyes, and you think about each detail of the traumatic event(s), and talk about whatever you are feeling, as if you are talking to yourself. You have to start at the moment of the trauma you have experienced. The very first thing you remember is where you begin. I was amazed at the things I remembered. It was almost like being hypnotized, but I was aware of my surroundings. This is a very difficult, painful and exhausting therapy, as it brings back ALL the memories, most from your subconscious. And there have been times I would have to stop. It was too much to handle at one time.

I remembered things I had no idea that even happened the night I lost my child. I could see all the people that came to my house that night. I saw the funeral. I could actually see all the people that came up to me to offer their condolences. Before this therapy, the first few weeks were sort of like a fog. I remember only parts of it. I believe our minds block out certain things when we are in situations too difficult for us to handle. The nightmares were always the events I could remember. I could hear the gun. I could smell the gun. All I could see when I would close my eyes at night was my son sitting on the sofa, with the gun to his head. I will stop there with the details. No parent should ever have to experience what I saw that night. And the flashbacks were not only at night. I had, and still do at times, triggers. Certain television shows; CSI, Forensic Files, etc. Fireworks. A car backfires. Things you would not normally think about. When I heard and saw these things, it would throw me right back to square one. I was back to the night I lost my son. But, as time goes on, the therapy is helping me deal with these triggers. I am learning how to avoid certain places and what television shows and movies I watch. I am learning self discipline. It is my means of survival.

I got to the point several times of wanting to join my son. I thought; if this is how life is going to be, I want no part of it. But something stopped me each time I tried. It just wasn’t my time to leave this world; I still have work to do here, apparently.

When I started this article, I had no intention of telling my entire story. But I hope it helps someone who is going through a similar situation. Please remember there is help out there. All you have to do is reach out. There are numerous support groups as well. I have joined several suicide survivor groups (online) and have made numerous connections. It is staggering to learn the amount of parents who have lost their child to suicide. When you find someone who has gone through the same events, you have an instant connection.

Suicide and PTSD is a worldwide epidemic. I have support group friends in New Zealand, Australia, India, Africa, Canada, China, Japan, and the groups are growing every day. Suicide and PTSD is everywhere and it must be talked about. Nobody is immune to this epidemic. It could happen to any of us. No matter what you circumstances are, you can survive. If I can survive losing my only child, my life, my reason for getting up every day, anything is possible.

If you are interested in this treament, try this link to locate a provider in your area...

http://www.emdr.com/clinic.htm